Chinese Medicine: Eat More Food!

by Original Bitter Asian Men on October 27, 2007

Folks, we are in the midst of an international crisis. I was alarmed to see this article on the BBC News:

BBC News – Obesity ‘epidemic’ turns global

That’s right folks, we Asians are in the midst of a terrible health crisis. For us Asian-Americans, it’s easy to tell just by looking around that there is a looming health problem here, and that is this – Asians are falling behind in the obesity epidemic.

Not a problem, you say? Wrong! We Asians are having a harder time getting overweight than any other race. This is just another step towards world discrimination against Asians. Think about it – in 2050, when everybody is packing on the pounds, who will you be? Not just a yellow, squinty-eyed, black-haired freak, but a yellow, squinty-eyed, black-haired, skinny freak.

If we Asians fall behind in global obesity, we are just giving the rest of the world one more area in which we Asians are “different”.

To be fair, this shouldn’t be surprising news. The seeds of this Asian weight crisis were planted long ago. Our food is naturally skinny-inducing with lean meats, whole grains, and plentiful vegetables. This is unacceptable. If we do not quickly convert to the whole-fried and sugar-coated goodness of Western foods we will be unable to compete in the future global fat marketplace.

In fact, we are already losing. Americans have already succeeded at making stir-fry fattening, and inventing General Tso’s Chicken.

So what can be done? If we Asians are to catch up with the rest of the world in global fattening, we need to change our habits today. Stop practicing martial arts – better to watch that football game and munch on some chips. Stop drinking tea – you know that real Americans drink pop. And actually order fried rice at a Chinese restaurant, as much as your Asian genes may rebel! For a better, fatter tomorrow, we must buckle up (or in fact, unbuckle our belts) and bring ourselves to the dinner table. Don’t forget the second helpings, either.

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